Post by Brian on Jun 7, 2009 1:41:07 GMT -5
12/21/06 at 07:49 AM
melissamother
I thank you for bringing this out and i do believe that because Melissa was such a good mother that maybe 77 years later and a another tragedy it gave those children a voice to help all those others out there, if no one ever saw the need for help before your film they do now and there is no way for the lawson's nor Melissa to ever tell anyone except Thur people like yourself.I oomend you Matt for having spoke for the ones we lost and letting people know there is a major war right here at home, you were able to take up the fight and in Melissa's and the Lawson family name maybe one more will live ,one at a time and all together we can combat this growing problem.
Gratefull mother of another victim
Sharon norman
12/22/06 at 01:37 PM
ecalhoun
Thanks Sharon, for your courage to take part in the film and to let Melissa's story be told. A lot of people will be seeing this film next year, and it is our deepest wish that this film prevents another tragedy.
I hope your family has a safe and wonderful Christmas.
Eric
Break of Dawn Productions
"Bringing Light to the Darkest Night"
ecalhoun
01/18/07 at 09:35 AM
jackhammer
I live about a hundred miles away from Stokes County, and I had never heard of the Lawson Family Tragedy until this past Christmas when I saw the video. I also had not heard of Melissa Tittle until I saw the film. I got a little sense of what happened to her from the documentary, and here on the board, but not the whole picture. I e-mailed her mother and asked if she'd be willing to tell a liitle bit about her daughter's life, and maybe any warning signs or red flags that we can look for in our own lives and/or the families of our friends. She said that she wouldn't mind sharing that story here with us. Actually, the last lines of Sharon's e-mail said:" I WILL DO ALL I CAN TO HELP
OTHERS NOT BECOME A VICTIM."
Thank you, Sharon.
jackhammer
01/19/07 at 02:30 PM
melissamother
I SAID I WOULD TELL PART OF MELISSA'S STORY AT THE TIME OF HER DEATH ,SHE WAS A BEAUTIFUL 31 SINGLE MOTHER OF 3, EVERYONE WHO EVER MET HER LIKED HER.SHE LEFT BEHIND 3 GREAT KIDS AND THE GIFT OF SIGHT TO TWO PEOPLE (SHE WAS A DONOR).HER DEATH SHOULD NEVER HAVE TAKEN PLACE THE MAN WHO TOOK HER LIFE HAD A LONG RECORD AND BECAUSE MOST OF IT WAS DOMESTIC HE WAS ABLE TO CONTINUE HIS RAIN OF TERROR/THE LAWS WERE NOT IN PLACE TO PROTECT HER OR WOMEN LIKE HER. I KNOW THERE ARE THOSE PEOPLE SAYING WHY DIO SHE NOT GET OUT.YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ABUSERS MAKE YOU BELIEVE THERE IS NO WAY OUT.YOU DON'T WANT YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO KNOW IT IS THAT BAD AND GOD KNOW HE WAS ALWAYS SORRY FOR HIS ACTIONS, BUT THE WAS NO PRICE TO PAY,MAYBE A FEW MONTHS IN JAIL, SHE DIDN'T WANT TO RUN AWAY FROM HOME THE KIDS SCHOOL HER JOB ,BUT WHEN SHE FINALLY GOT THE COURAGE TO LEAVE AND HE HAD BEEN GONE FOR 2-3 MONTHS AND HE KNEW SHE WAS THRU WITH HIM, HE BROKE IN ONE NIGHT AFTER WE ALL THOUGHT IT WAS OVER AND THE REST IS HISTORY. LET ME ANSWER QUESTIONS AND HELP SOMEONE ELSE.
SHARON
Sharon norman
01/19/07 at 05:28 PM
ladebug
So very sad for all your family. Are you raising your grandchildren and is he in jail the rest of his life?
Ladebug
01/20/07 at 09:41 AM
jackhammer
Thanks, Sharon. I do see signs in your story that I've seen in co-workers over the years. I guess when there are children involved, it does get more complicated. Personally and legally. And you mentioned about your daughter not wanting friends and family knowing how bad it was. That's sad, but I guess that it's pretty understandable. The majority of people that I work with are women, and while they don't talk about this stuff to me, I do overhear conversations with other women about their husband's behavior. And I've heard my co-workers try to get some women to leave home, saying that they deserve better and their children deserve better. But, occasionally they come in hiding bruises and/or black eyes, and making excuses like "oh, we were just playing around and he hit me by accident."
I think that sometimes we're afraid to get the police involved for fear that the husband will retaliate against the
woman.
jackhammer
01/20/07 at 10:21AM
The "Veil of Secrecy" that abusive men create for their spouses and children via saying..."if you tell anyone I will kill you and the children" and/or "if you leave me I will hunt you down and kill you", their ability to sound so sincere when they apologize and promise never to hit their spouse again, the lack of protective housing/custody with a high level of security for victims of domestic violence, the mind set of many people still to this day of "it's none of my business", it's not my place to get involved, let the police handle it" when they encounter someone who is victimized, and a court system that often times considers the rights of the abusers over the rights of the victims, often times giving the abuser a mere slap on the hand and sending them back out to abuse again, are just a few of the problems that need to be corrected and changed in order to more effectively stifle this terrible cycle of domestic violence. The consequences of acts of domestic violence that goes un-checked and dealt with are clearly seen in the documentary of a Christmas Family Tragedy and in the case of Melissa Tittle and hundreds of thousands of other such cases in every county, every city, every state, and every country. It is a community problem and as such we all need to get in there and do our part to end this terrible problem. This also includes of course men who are abused by their wives and girlfriends. There are so many ways each one of us can help. We just gotta get in there and do it. I also wonder if and how much a male dominated police force and judicial system contributes to the problem or if it's a contributory force at all?
Maria
01/20/07 at 10:52 AM
jackhammer
Quota:
Originally Posted by Maria
I also wonder it and how much a male dominated police force and judicial system contributes to the problem or if it's a contributory force at all?
Maria
Good point, Maria. It would be nice if we had the luxury of having, for every report of domestic violence, two officers on the scene. One man, one woman. Although I have a hard bme believing that a male officer on a scene of domestic abuse does't see the woman, and connect her to his wife, his mother, his sister or his daughter.
Much of the evil in the world is brought about by people believing they are acting for good and righteous reasons. -
Margaret Weis
jackhammer
01/20/07 at 11:16 AM
Maria
I've heard of too many women who have been raped complain about the cold and sneering ways a male officer handled them when they called the police and reported being raped. Did those male officers connect that to their wives, mothers, and or daughters? Not all male officers are corrupt or insensitive to female victims, but enough have been reported as being so which makes me wonder about it. They connect and identify more often with their own sex. More men than women firmly believe that their wife or their children "BELONG" to them and that they (the husband and or father) is head of the their household and as such has the "right" to punish and or demand sex from their wives. The saying that "wives should submit to their husbands" has often times been misused and misinterpreted.
Maria
01/20/07 at 11:33AM
jackhammer
No disagreement from me there, Maria. I didn't mean it to sound like I didn't believe male officers could be like that, only that I had a hard time believing that as human beings, we don't inately feel compassion towards victims and a sense of a connectedness with victims, and see them in the same light that we see our loved ones. But you're right, I see the way that men have a tendency to connect with and identify with the man in the case. Your comment about "The saving that "wives should submit to their husbands" has often times been misused and interpreted." I'm assuming that it is in the Bible, cause I've heard it discussed a lot lately. I'm not sure how to interpret ttiat one. To me, every marriage should be made up of equal partners, neither submitting to the other.
Much of the evil in the world is brought about by people believing they are acting for good and righteous reasons. -
Margaret weis
jackhammer
01/20/07 at 12:16 PM
jackhammer
Me too, Maria. I think that we should probably leave the religion talk for another message board. So far, we're all getting along pretty good over here. No sense in spoiling it. LOL.
Much of the evil in the world is brought about by people believing they are acting for good and righteous reasons. -
Margaret Weis
jackhammer
melissamother
I thank you for bringing this out and i do believe that because Melissa was such a good mother that maybe 77 years later and a another tragedy it gave those children a voice to help all those others out there, if no one ever saw the need for help before your film they do now and there is no way for the lawson's nor Melissa to ever tell anyone except Thur people like yourself.I oomend you Matt for having spoke for the ones we lost and letting people know there is a major war right here at home, you were able to take up the fight and in Melissa's and the Lawson family name maybe one more will live ,one at a time and all together we can combat this growing problem.
Gratefull mother of another victim
Sharon norman
12/22/06 at 01:37 PM
ecalhoun
Thanks Sharon, for your courage to take part in the film and to let Melissa's story be told. A lot of people will be seeing this film next year, and it is our deepest wish that this film prevents another tragedy.
I hope your family has a safe and wonderful Christmas.
Eric
Break of Dawn Productions
"Bringing Light to the Darkest Night"
ecalhoun
01/18/07 at 09:35 AM
jackhammer
I live about a hundred miles away from Stokes County, and I had never heard of the Lawson Family Tragedy until this past Christmas when I saw the video. I also had not heard of Melissa Tittle until I saw the film. I got a little sense of what happened to her from the documentary, and here on the board, but not the whole picture. I e-mailed her mother and asked if she'd be willing to tell a liitle bit about her daughter's life, and maybe any warning signs or red flags that we can look for in our own lives and/or the families of our friends. She said that she wouldn't mind sharing that story here with us. Actually, the last lines of Sharon's e-mail said:" I WILL DO ALL I CAN TO HELP
OTHERS NOT BECOME A VICTIM."
Thank you, Sharon.
jackhammer
01/19/07 at 02:30 PM
melissamother
I SAID I WOULD TELL PART OF MELISSA'S STORY AT THE TIME OF HER DEATH ,SHE WAS A BEAUTIFUL 31 SINGLE MOTHER OF 3, EVERYONE WHO EVER MET HER LIKED HER.SHE LEFT BEHIND 3 GREAT KIDS AND THE GIFT OF SIGHT TO TWO PEOPLE (SHE WAS A DONOR).HER DEATH SHOULD NEVER HAVE TAKEN PLACE THE MAN WHO TOOK HER LIFE HAD A LONG RECORD AND BECAUSE MOST OF IT WAS DOMESTIC HE WAS ABLE TO CONTINUE HIS RAIN OF TERROR/THE LAWS WERE NOT IN PLACE TO PROTECT HER OR WOMEN LIKE HER. I KNOW THERE ARE THOSE PEOPLE SAYING WHY DIO SHE NOT GET OUT.YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ABUSERS MAKE YOU BELIEVE THERE IS NO WAY OUT.YOU DON'T WANT YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO KNOW IT IS THAT BAD AND GOD KNOW HE WAS ALWAYS SORRY FOR HIS ACTIONS, BUT THE WAS NO PRICE TO PAY,MAYBE A FEW MONTHS IN JAIL, SHE DIDN'T WANT TO RUN AWAY FROM HOME THE KIDS SCHOOL HER JOB ,BUT WHEN SHE FINALLY GOT THE COURAGE TO LEAVE AND HE HAD BEEN GONE FOR 2-3 MONTHS AND HE KNEW SHE WAS THRU WITH HIM, HE BROKE IN ONE NIGHT AFTER WE ALL THOUGHT IT WAS OVER AND THE REST IS HISTORY. LET ME ANSWER QUESTIONS AND HELP SOMEONE ELSE.
SHARON
Sharon norman
01/19/07 at 05:28 PM
ladebug
So very sad for all your family. Are you raising your grandchildren and is he in jail the rest of his life?
Ladebug
01/20/07 at 09:41 AM
jackhammer
Thanks, Sharon. I do see signs in your story that I've seen in co-workers over the years. I guess when there are children involved, it does get more complicated. Personally and legally. And you mentioned about your daughter not wanting friends and family knowing how bad it was. That's sad, but I guess that it's pretty understandable. The majority of people that I work with are women, and while they don't talk about this stuff to me, I do overhear conversations with other women about their husband's behavior. And I've heard my co-workers try to get some women to leave home, saying that they deserve better and their children deserve better. But, occasionally they come in hiding bruises and/or black eyes, and making excuses like "oh, we were just playing around and he hit me by accident."
I think that sometimes we're afraid to get the police involved for fear that the husband will retaliate against the
woman.
jackhammer
01/20/07 at 10:21AM
The "Veil of Secrecy" that abusive men create for their spouses and children via saying..."if you tell anyone I will kill you and the children" and/or "if you leave me I will hunt you down and kill you", their ability to sound so sincere when they apologize and promise never to hit their spouse again, the lack of protective housing/custody with a high level of security for victims of domestic violence, the mind set of many people still to this day of "it's none of my business", it's not my place to get involved, let the police handle it" when they encounter someone who is victimized, and a court system that often times considers the rights of the abusers over the rights of the victims, often times giving the abuser a mere slap on the hand and sending them back out to abuse again, are just a few of the problems that need to be corrected and changed in order to more effectively stifle this terrible cycle of domestic violence. The consequences of acts of domestic violence that goes un-checked and dealt with are clearly seen in the documentary of a Christmas Family Tragedy and in the case of Melissa Tittle and hundreds of thousands of other such cases in every county, every city, every state, and every country. It is a community problem and as such we all need to get in there and do our part to end this terrible problem. This also includes of course men who are abused by their wives and girlfriends. There are so many ways each one of us can help. We just gotta get in there and do it. I also wonder if and how much a male dominated police force and judicial system contributes to the problem or if it's a contributory force at all?
Maria
01/20/07 at 10:52 AM
jackhammer
Quota:
Originally Posted by Maria
I also wonder it and how much a male dominated police force and judicial system contributes to the problem or if it's a contributory force at all?
Maria
Good point, Maria. It would be nice if we had the luxury of having, for every report of domestic violence, two officers on the scene. One man, one woman. Although I have a hard bme believing that a male officer on a scene of domestic abuse does't see the woman, and connect her to his wife, his mother, his sister or his daughter.
Much of the evil in the world is brought about by people believing they are acting for good and righteous reasons. -
Margaret Weis
jackhammer
01/20/07 at 11:16 AM
Maria
I've heard of too many women who have been raped complain about the cold and sneering ways a male officer handled them when they called the police and reported being raped. Did those male officers connect that to their wives, mothers, and or daughters? Not all male officers are corrupt or insensitive to female victims, but enough have been reported as being so which makes me wonder about it. They connect and identify more often with their own sex. More men than women firmly believe that their wife or their children "BELONG" to them and that they (the husband and or father) is head of the their household and as such has the "right" to punish and or demand sex from their wives. The saying that "wives should submit to their husbands" has often times been misused and misinterpreted.
Maria
01/20/07 at 11:33AM
jackhammer
No disagreement from me there, Maria. I didn't mean it to sound like I didn't believe male officers could be like that, only that I had a hard time believing that as human beings, we don't inately feel compassion towards victims and a sense of a connectedness with victims, and see them in the same light that we see our loved ones. But you're right, I see the way that men have a tendency to connect with and identify with the man in the case. Your comment about "The saving that "wives should submit to their husbands" has often times been misused and interpreted." I'm assuming that it is in the Bible, cause I've heard it discussed a lot lately. I'm not sure how to interpret ttiat one. To me, every marriage should be made up of equal partners, neither submitting to the other.
Much of the evil in the world is brought about by people believing they are acting for good and righteous reasons. -
Margaret weis
jackhammer
01/20/07 at 12:16 PM
jackhammer
Me too, Maria. I think that we should probably leave the religion talk for another message board. So far, we're all getting along pretty good over here. No sense in spoiling it. LOL.
Much of the evil in the world is brought about by people believing they are acting for good and righteous reasons. -
Margaret Weis
jackhammer